These four short stories arrived in my email box this morning.
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When in England, at a fairly large
conference, Condoleeca Rice was asked by
the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans
for Iraq were just an example
of empire building by George Bush.
She answered by saying, “Over the years, the
United States has sent many
of its fine young men and women into great
peril to fight for freedom beyond
our borders. The only amount of land we
have ever asked for in return
is enough to bury those that did not return.”
You could have heard a pin drop.
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There was a conference in France where a
Number of international engineers
were taking part, including French and
American. During a break, one of the
French engineers came back into the room
saying “Have you heard the latest
dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an
aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help
the tsunami victims. What does he intended
to do, bomb them?”
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied
quietly: “Our carriers have three hospitals
on board that can treat several hundred
people; they are nuclear powered and
can supply emergency electrical power to
shore facilities; they have three cafeterias
with the capacity to feed 3,000 people
three meals a day, they can produce several
thousand gallons of fresh water from sea
water each day, and they carry half a
dozen helicopters for use in transporting
victims and injured to and from their flight
deck. We have eleven such ships;
how many Does France have?
You could have heard a pin drop.
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A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval
conference that included Admirals
from the U.S., English, Canadian,
Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail
reception, he found himself standing with
a large group of Officers that included
personnel from most of those countries.
Everyone was chatting away in English
as they sipped their drinks but a French
admiral suddenly complained that,
whereas Europeans learn many languages,
Americans learn only English. He then
asked, “Why is it that we always have to
speak English in these conferences rather
than speaking French?” Without
hesitating, the American Admiral replied “Maybe
it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies
and Americans arranged it so you
wouldn't have to speak German.”
You could have heard a pin drop.
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Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83,
arrived in Paris by plane. At French
Customs, he took a few minutes to locate
his passport in his carry on. “You have
been to France before, monsieur?” the
customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to
France previously. “Then you should
know enough to have your passport ready.”
The American said, “The last time I was
here, I didn't have to show it. “Impossible -
Americans always have to show your
passports on arrival in France!” The American
senior gave the Frenchman a long hard
look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well,
when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day
in 1944 to help liberate this country,
I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.”
You could have heard a pin drop.
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